Alchemist and Reindeer
by Cloud Piece
Summary: While in a bar in the Grand Line, Ed is met by a strange reindeer doctor.
1. Chapter 1

**Okay, this is very random. Well, slightly random. It was originally going to be Edward feels great that Chopper was smaller than him the Chopper turned into brain point, then Ed used alchemy to make his boots higher or something then Chopper turned into brain point, then it got to this…**

**-0-**

Edward Elric sighed to himself. The truth... It turned out that a philosopher's stone alone wasn't enough to bring Al's body back. He had to exchange himself too. Mind and body, gone from his home, his world, and trapped in this one.

Ed hated where he was.

He had only been there for a week, but he still hated it. There were pirates that came by the island often and the military over there were just as bad. Ed had overheard someone saying how they had destroyed an entire island because they were researching history. Just like home. The military are the bad guys.

He was sitting by himself at a local bar, leaning on his elbow at the bench, when it walked in.

He didn't know WHAT the hell it was, the first thought that crossed his mind was 'racoon dog' but it didn't look like one. Well, it did but it didn't. It had this strange blue nose and a bright pink hat on. Edward had been staring at him curiously, and had got quite a surprise when it had turned and said, "What? Why are you staring at me like that?"

Edward's jaw opened slightly. "A-a chimera?" he muttered to himself. "Human crossed with a...?"

"Reindeer."

Edward blinked. He turned to the strange creature. "Reindeer? I've met lion chimeras and gorillas, but never something as harmless as a reindeer." Usually Father went for dangerous beasts crossed with humans. Not something like a reindeer. "What's your name?"

"Tony Tony Chopper. I'm a pirate!" Chopper declared proudly, puffing out his chest. "And a doctor!" He grinned widely and jumped on the seat next to Edward.

Edward raised an eyebrow. Normally pirates were the lowest of the low, filthy and dangerous. It was hard to imagine someone so small and cute to be a pirate. Maybe he was forced to become one? No, if he did he wouldn't say it like he was happy for it. And he did say he was a doctor. How on earth he could hold a scalpel or a needle was a mystery. "Really?"

Chopper nodded. "Yep! My nakama are exploring the island. I was with Zoro, but as soon as I stepped into here he was gone!" Chopper waved his arms about at the word gone. "He was there one minute, and the next, nothing! It was so weird!"

"It must of been," Edward nodded. "So, how did you escape?"

Chopper frowned. "Es...cape? I'm not sure what you mean."

Edward leaned against the bar. "Did you escape from the lab?" Chopper tilted his head, the confusion clear on his furry features.

"I still don't get it."

"Aren't you a chimera?"

Chopper shook his head. "I don't even know what that is."

"Man-made cross-species hybrid," Edward explained. "I've seen some in my life. Some have been between animals, and some..." The alchemist swallowed and shut his eyes, "some have been between an animal and a humans."

Edward was suddenly reminded of a young girl, laughing and playing with him, Edward, Alphonse and her dog, then the same girl- no, it wasn't her anymore, it was something else entirely- as a monster, wanting to die because of a stupid experiment that her stupid father had done to her because of a stupid job-

CRASH

The glass in his hand smashed into a thousand tiny little pieces. He must of put too much pressure on it. "Whoops," Edward picked up the shards and placed them on the bench. "Luckily it was my right hand."

He turned back to Chopper and said, "So, what ARE you anyway? If you aren't a chimera?"

"I ate a devil fruit," Chopper's hand reached to his stomach, "I was a reindeer and I ate the Human Human fruit, so I became a cross between a human and a reindeer. That's what I am."

Edward gaped at Chopper. Chopper raised his eyebrows innocently. "...What?"

"There's no such thing," the alchemist shook his head. "I have never heard of a devil fruit."

"Where have you been? This is the Grand Line, you can't NOT of heard of devil's fruits," Chopper frowned. "Where are you from?"

Edward sighed. "Somewhere... far away..."

That damn truth, bringing him to another world!

"Truth?"

Edward jumped up. "Crap, did I say that out loud? Sorry, I didn't mean to..."

"You're from another world?"

Edward nodded slowly. "Uh-huh. Technically, a different dimension, but-"

Chopper's eyes turned to stars of admiration. "Woah, that is so cool~! What's your name? Is it different there? What's it like?"

Edward chuckled. "The name's Edward Elric, the famous Fullmetal Alchemist."

"That sounds so cool!"

Edward smirked and pointed at his chest with his thumb. "I'm pretty famous over there. I got natural alchemy skills, so I'm one of the best alchemists in the country. It's really different over there. We have these things called cars, they're like ships, but smaller and with wheels and they only work on land."

Chopper smiled. "That world sounds cool already! And you're famous like my captain!"

Edward laughed. "We also have a thing called alchemy. Alchemy is science and magic melded in one. The first rule of it is equivalent exchange. In order for something to be gained, something of equal value must be given." Edward subconsciously rubbed his right arm. "You transmute something into something else, but that something else has to have the same elements as the thing you transmute."

"Oh, so if you wanted cake you would have to transmute the ingredients," Chopper said.

Edward nodded. "Yes. However..."

"...?" Chopper tilted his head.

"There are some things... That can't be transmuted. Sometimes, nothing can really be equivalent to another."

Edward's mind flashed back to the day he and Alphonse tried to resurrect their mother. "... A human, for example."

"How did you get here?"

"It's a long story... and I'm not sure I want to share it with someone I just met," Edward glanced down at the reindeer. "Sorry," he added quickly afterwards.

"It's alright," Chopper understood that Edward didn't want to say anything about his past, and Chopper didn't either. "How old are you, anyway?"

"16. You?"

"15."

A wide smile appeared on Edward's face, and a maniacal gleam flashed in his golden eyes. "15... 15... 15..."

Chopper sweated. "Uh, Edward-san?"

"FINALLY! FINALLY I HAVE FOUND SOMEONE WHO IS AROUND MY AGE AND IS SMALLER THAN ME!" Edward's sudden outburst had gotten everyone's attention, but he ignored their stares. Edward smirked and pointed at the sky. "Ha! See this Mustang, you bastard? See how Chopper here is smaller than me? I win!"

"What's that runt talking about?" the bartender grumbled, clearly annoyed at the sudden noise in his bar.

Edward twitched and turned around. "I don't have to be called runt anymore, because I'm not the smallest person- huh? What's so funny?"

The bartender had started laughing and pointing at something behind Edward. The entire bar was laughing as well.

Edward turned, and was met by... A gorilla? "What the... A gorilla?"

The gorilla started yelling. "I'M A REINDEER, BASTARD!"

Edward widened his eyes. "... Chopper? That little reindeer?" His mind flashed back to the small reindeer thing and then back to this giant form.

Edward was lost for words. He had finally found someone smaller than him, damn it! "It's not fair!" Why couldn't he be the taller one for ONE time?

Edward fainted, his soul reaching out from his mouth and escaping his body. "DOCTOR! Oh, right, that's me. Edward!" Chopper panicked, picking Edward up. "Edward, speak to me!"

Edward bit his lip. "I'm... Never gonna win, am I?" He sniffed. "I'm never gonna be the tall one..."

"Don't give up! You will be the taller one, one day!" A determined look appeared on Chopper's face. "You WILL be tall one day!"

Edward smiled. "Thanks."

"Anytime. Uh, Edward..." Chopper fidgeted nervously.

"Hm?"

"Would you... I know it's not my

job to ask people, but... Would you... Join our crew?" Edward blinked, surprized. He was not expecting that.

"..."

"Please? You can tell us all about the other world and the medicine and we can have adventures with each other! And I know I've just met you but I have a feeling that you're a good guy and... and..."

"Chopper, I..." Edward started. "... I would love to." He had nowhere else to go, and Chopper seemed nice enough.

Chopper smiled a huge, bright smile and gave Edward the biggest hug of his life. "Yes! We better go tell Luffy!"

Without warning, Chopper flung Edward over his shoulders and ran out the door. "Wha-?" Everything was a blur as Chopper rushed past buildings, trees, and rocks until they came to a halt at the beach. A large ship was docked at the waters. A jolly roger was on it, a skull with a straw hat.

"There they are! Luffy! Luffy!"

Edward peeked over Chopper's shoulder, his head still dizzy from Chopper's abnormal speed. "Luffy's our captain," Chopper whispered.

A young man came running up to Chopper, waving and grinning widely. "Luffy!"

"Chopper! Where have you been?"

"I found a new nakama!"

Luffy's smile dropped a bit, then an even bigger one replaced it. "Really? Who?"

Edward jumped down from Chopper's back. "Hey. I'm Edward Elric, the Fullmetal Alchemist."

Luffy studied Edward from head to toe. After a minute, Luffy started talking. "Haha! He's short!" Luffy laughed.

Edward snapped. "WHO'RE YA CALLIN' SHORT YOU BASTARD?"

"Yeah, he can join. You're my nakama!"

Chopper hugged Edward again, almost crushing his bones. "Ed, our new nakama!"

Luffy began picking his nose. Edward raised an eyebrow. It was hard to imagine, that this skinny boy was a captain of a pirate ship.

"Okay! Now that Chopper and Edward is here, we can set sail! Yosh! Let's go! Adventure!"

Edward and Chopper glanced at each other and gave each other a small smile.

Looks like Edward's new adventure has just started.

**This is only going to be a one-shot, but if anyone would like to continue from here that would be great.**

**Reviews are nice too.**

**And please check out and review my other stories too.**


	2. Special Chapter: Zoro's big adventure

**This was inspired by both my boredom and someone who reviewed the other chapter who said "What happened to Zoro?" thus this.**

**No, this does not mean I'm continuing on with this. Sorry, but I've got too much going on right now.**

One day, Zoro was walking along with Chopper on this island. However, that island was cursed. Like pretty much every other island that Zoro's been in so far. The island has a tendency to bend the very fabric of space and time to its will (does an island even HAVE a will?) and make west turn into east. Everyone knows that in order to go west, you go left. Che. Idiots don't even know their directions.

Zoro and Chopper had come across a bar. Chopper was about to walk into the bar, when suddenly- BAM!- Zoro was gone. Chopper panicked before calming down and entering the bar in order to talk to Edward Elric. Inception! Or something like that.

So, what exactly happened with Zoro?

Well, the marimo- sorry, skilled swordsman was just about to step into the bar, but as he stepped he bumped into something! It was a sign post.

"The hell-?" Zoro scratched the back of his head. That was weird. He searched around. Chopper was gone, and he was in a completely different part of town. "He can find his own way back." Zoro shrugged it off before saying, "The witch said that the ship is south, so..."

Zoro turned around and tripped over a cat. "THE HELL WAS THAT FOR?"

The cat merely tilted its head and gave a low purr before licking Zoro's cheek. "Ah- whaddya- get outta my-!"

Zoro whacked the poor cat out of his way, and proceeded south.

He actually went east but who the hell cares.

A second later, he was in a forest. Which was strange, since he was sure there was no forests on the island. A couple sky-sharks swam by but he took no notice. Then a giant south bird with Wiper riding it flew past. "Huh?" Zoro spun around, but this time he was facing a bed. Somehow he was in a room. "This is even weirder..."

A figure in the bed widened his eyes and attempted to scream. Zoro blinked a few times after glancing at him. He was recognizable, but Zoro could barely make it out as the former cheif of CP9, Spa- Spa- Spandoki? Nah, that wasn't it. It'll come to him eventually.

"You!" Zoro yelled. He leered at the pathetic coward, who began sweating waterfalls, and grabbed his pink hair. "You're the one that almost caused one of my nakama her life!"

He proceeded to brutally kick, punch, whack and any other form of violence towards the bastard. Not that anyone cared, really. And, just so we're clear, he is NOT beating up Spandoki because he's defending Robin because he's in love with her. No, he was doing it as a sign of nakamaship, okay?

Besides, everyone knows that Ace and Robin have a thing going on.

Spandaman was just about pass out when Zoro was suddenly in a desert.

"Bushido-san! Bushido-san!"

"Huh?" Where the hell was he now?

A bright, bright blue was the last thing Zoro saw before his face was on the ground. Someone had glomped him. Zoro twitched an eye and looked up. He gasped, a very out-of-character moment. "Vivi?"

Vivi laughed. "The one and only! Here in Ala-"

THEN Zoro was at some okama party thing. A man or woman was singing and dancing at the front. Marimo hid behind a table and narrowed his eyes. "The hell is wrong with that island?"

Suddenly, a guy barged in. Him and the okama up front started talking, and the guy started growing BREATS. Zoro did not want to become a woman, so he ran.

Then he somehow ended up on...

Goa Kingdom, Baltigo (Where some guy named Sabo asked if he knew his brother, and apparently they wanted someone called Nicorobin or something like that), Punk Hazard, Baratie, Drum Kingdom, Whitebeard's ship, Uranus, Enies Lobby, Raftel, back to Skypiea, Mihawk's palace, and all these other random places until he was facing the Thousand Sunny.

"..." Zoro's face held no emotion as he went into the ship.

"Hey! Zoro! Check Ed out! Isn't he cool?" The energetic captain began pointing at some blond midget shrimp short tiny impossible-to-see kid, who had been showing off some metal arm and doing other crap.

(WHO'RE YA CALLING SMALL-)

"Whatever," Zoro grumbled, scratching his head as he entered the boy's cabins. He passed Robin and Ace on the way, who were both too busy kissing to notice Zoro.

Zoro slumped down on a bed. "ZORO! Get the hell out!"

A certain navigator's foot met a certain marimo's face, the impact sending him flying. Zoro mumbled to himself before going onto his REAL bed.

"Stupid island's probably cursed..." Zoro grumbled before heading off to dreamland.

**Zoro's didn't get lost. He just took another route.**

**Reviews would be nice.**


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